~~ the yaoi fangirl never sleeps!
Feb. 1st, 2005 02:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaYou know, I think I wouldn't be reading all these random comics if... uh, they weren't comics-- if there weren't pictures with the words. I wouldn't necessarily watch these many live action movies, either, because that seems draining more than entertaining (as I know from past zombification experiences), though I'd watch it as anime shorts. I think my quality control in what I read goes way, way down when pictures are involved for some reason (and I do think there's a real explanation for this phenomenon, btw.)
Somehow, the pictures make the experience more immediate and universal at the same time... so instead of concentrating on the art and craft of the words the way I do with stories, I can let go and just focus on their meanings. I mean, the story is important and keeps my long-term interest, but... man, the pretty pictures keep me mesmerized for hours. It's not just the boob-tube anymore.
It's also starting to become clear that more than 50% of the mangas about High School boys are about longtime friends (from childhood!) who're just now admitting their feelings for each other. Now, this is one of those Happy Buttons of mine which will always get a positive reaction (actually, it was that button which got me into S/R), but... oh man, I'm starting to feel manipulated or something, going for the formula every time.
It doesn't help that all these stories about childhood love are starting to feel incestuous-- like, if you've known someone for that long, and are that close... on the one hand, how dense do you have to be not to know you like them 'that way'? And if you do know, what does that say about how close you are if you keep that kind of secret from the other person? And on top of all that, aren't friends that old basically family, anyway? It's not that familiarity has to breed contempt, but doesn't it at least breed complacency? (Which just goes to show you that you can always start to sour on an idea once you've been exposed enough to it.)
~~
I always knew that yaoi & slash have warped my brain, but... man, it hasn't warped it the way nerve.com says. Omg, that's... pretty offensive, actually. And meh, just figures that they've got a quote from Tricia of the Juxtapose Fantasy website (ooh, the only members-only 'yaoi' site on the net-- wtf?? 'yaoi'??!) Man, I don't even know where to start with this. Apparently, "Women read these stories because they make them feel sexual in a way that hetero romances don't." ...Right. Soon they'll be going on about penis envy and the modern woman.
I mean, okay, nerve is an erotica website so of course the focus would be on the sexual aspect, but... 'American yaoi'??! It just really... bothers me for some reason, though obviously yaoi is about sex, but shounen-ai isn't and since when is 'yaoi' a Western genre? The hell? Okay, so they haven't done their research or whatever, but man, the people they got the quotes from. "Women enjoy it because they don't have to worry about anything being done to women," says Linda Williams, director of Film Studies at UC-Berkeley and editor of the book Porn Studies. (........)
I was having such a happy buzz before this, too. First of all, while I was walking along oh-so-innocently in the Student Union, there were two boys lounging on a sofa together. And by 'lounging' I mean cuddling, because omg, one of them had their head tucked into the crook of the other's neck, and I was like, omg *MELT!!1* At first I wasn't sure it was another boy, so I actually did the really lame thing and did a double-take on my way back. And they were still sprawled practically on top of each other, except not quite. I dunno what I wanted to do... probably any of the options going through my fevered brain were rather inappropriate and offensive, no matter how 'innocuous' I could almost convince myself I was. So yes.
And then I was passing a row of arcade games, and the two cute guys were like, punching each other in Street Fighter and I totally switched modes from happy-love-love to OMG DO IT DO IT NOW. So okay, was I making these video-game characters and the two actual boys into sex objects made purely for my entertainment? Well, if so, it's not just boys-- I'd do the same for any two attractive characters kicking each other's asses, though the whole thing blurs when I find real boys in ambiguously homoerotic situations charming, I guess.
Though of course I'm allowed to find straight couples charming (I think...?) because 'awww, young love', but somehow it's objectifying and wrong if it's two boys...? At least, I think they'd feel more weird about it. And okay, I admit that a straight couple is more likely to make me feel down 'cause I don't have a SO at the moment than melty 'cause they're so cute together. So being an outsider allows me to let go of my insecurities in this rather than feeling self-conscious, too.
See, the thing I keep thinking is... on the one hand, all the in-fandom theorizing about how slash or yaoi 'works' in fangirls' minds may be flawed because of the distortion of viewing at close range.... But the people from the outside don't seem to 'get it' or gain any objectivity either. This is probably mostly hobbled by it being rather difficult to fully rationalize emotions or instinctual responses in general, and both fannishness and sexual/emotional kink fall into that category. You could only say, 'well, these people feel like this' and 'those people feel like that', so if you interview the 'wrong people', so to speak, you could easily come up with some really offensive reasons to read/write slash, apparently. Then again, you always have to be careful about inadvertently asking stupid people questions in any case. But that's just me being grumpy.
~~
P.S. I love it when they have someone say 'sankyuu' in manga (or anime, I'm not picky). It's a special joy in life. Yes, it doesn't take much with me, clearly.
Somehow, the pictures make the experience more immediate and universal at the same time... so instead of concentrating on the art and craft of the words the way I do with stories, I can let go and just focus on their meanings. I mean, the story is important and keeps my long-term interest, but... man, the pretty pictures keep me mesmerized for hours. It's not just the boob-tube anymore.
It's also starting to become clear that more than 50% of the mangas about High School boys are about longtime friends (from childhood!) who're just now admitting their feelings for each other. Now, this is one of those Happy Buttons of mine which will always get a positive reaction (actually, it was that button which got me into S/R), but... oh man, I'm starting to feel manipulated or something, going for the formula every time.
It doesn't help that all these stories about childhood love are starting to feel incestuous-- like, if you've known someone for that long, and are that close... on the one hand, how dense do you have to be not to know you like them 'that way'? And if you do know, what does that say about how close you are if you keep that kind of secret from the other person? And on top of all that, aren't friends that old basically family, anyway? It's not that familiarity has to breed contempt, but doesn't it at least breed complacency? (Which just goes to show you that you can always start to sour on an idea once you've been exposed enough to it.)
~~
I always knew that yaoi & slash have warped my brain, but... man, it hasn't warped it the way nerve.com says. Omg, that's... pretty offensive, actually. And meh, just figures that they've got a quote from Tricia of the Juxtapose Fantasy website (ooh, the only members-only 'yaoi' site on the net-- wtf?? 'yaoi'??!) Man, I don't even know where to start with this. Apparently, "Women read these stories because they make them feel sexual in a way that hetero romances don't." ...Right. Soon they'll be going on about penis envy and the modern woman.
I mean, okay, nerve is an erotica website so of course the focus would be on the sexual aspect, but... 'American yaoi'??! It just really... bothers me for some reason, though obviously yaoi is about sex, but shounen-ai isn't and since when is 'yaoi' a Western genre? The hell? Okay, so they haven't done their research or whatever, but man, the people they got the quotes from. "Women enjoy it because they don't have to worry about anything being done to women," says Linda Williams, director of Film Studies at UC-Berkeley and editor of the book Porn Studies. (........)
I was having such a happy buzz before this, too. First of all, while I was walking along oh-so-innocently in the Student Union, there were two boys lounging on a sofa together. And by 'lounging' I mean cuddling, because omg, one of them had their head tucked into the crook of the other's neck, and I was like, omg *MELT!!1* At first I wasn't sure it was another boy, so I actually did the really lame thing and did a double-take on my way back. And they were still sprawled practically on top of each other, except not quite. I dunno what I wanted to do... probably any of the options going through my fevered brain were rather inappropriate and offensive, no matter how 'innocuous' I could almost convince myself I was. So yes.
And then I was passing a row of arcade games, and the two cute guys were like, punching each other in Street Fighter and I totally switched modes from happy-love-love to OMG DO IT DO IT NOW. So okay, was I making these video-game characters and the two actual boys into sex objects made purely for my entertainment? Well, if so, it's not just boys-- I'd do the same for any two attractive characters kicking each other's asses, though the whole thing blurs when I find real boys in ambiguously homoerotic situations charming, I guess.
Though of course I'm allowed to find straight couples charming (I think...?) because 'awww, young love', but somehow it's objectifying and wrong if it's two boys...? At least, I think they'd feel more weird about it. And okay, I admit that a straight couple is more likely to make me feel down 'cause I don't have a SO at the moment than melty 'cause they're so cute together. So being an outsider allows me to let go of my insecurities in this rather than feeling self-conscious, too.
See, the thing I keep thinking is... on the one hand, all the in-fandom theorizing about how slash or yaoi 'works' in fangirls' minds may be flawed because of the distortion of viewing at close range.... But the people from the outside don't seem to 'get it' or gain any objectivity either. This is probably mostly hobbled by it being rather difficult to fully rationalize emotions or instinctual responses in general, and both fannishness and sexual/emotional kink fall into that category. You could only say, 'well, these people feel like this' and 'those people feel like that', so if you interview the 'wrong people', so to speak, you could easily come up with some really offensive reasons to read/write slash, apparently. Then again, you always have to be careful about inadvertently asking stupid people questions in any case. But that's just me being grumpy.
~~
P.S. I love it when they have someone say 'sankyuu' in manga (or anime, I'm not picky). It's a special joy in life. Yes, it doesn't take much with me, clearly.
