...and a pirate's life for ME...

Hehehe, lizardspots drew hardcore!H/D so I'm all happy and inspired, and I'm probably gonna use it for a scene 'cause I can't resist. HEEE. Harry's all 'I KEEEL YOU MALFOY... AFTER I FUCK YOU OF COURSE' and Draco's all '....WELL?? ARE YOU JUST GONNA STAND THERE ALL DAY OR CAN YOU PUT YOUR COCK WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS?' :D :D :D Oh nostalgia.
    I wonder if people would take my characterization/fanfic meta-whining stuff differently if I actually gave step-by-step examples the way people do with canon meta (like, went and referenced well-known fics specifically, quoted lines, challenged with specific canon/earth-logic/common-sense bits, basically did that public con-crit thing everyone hates or whatever... though that was never my point, I'd only even consider it if I wanted to prove something and even the idea leaves a bad taste in my mouth because the truth is, I can't spend much time in H/D fandom without wanting to prove something... I think it's sort of like my speculations about what would happen to religious people if they KNEW God never existed. *sigh*) It's not like it'd help anyone to MST3K some popular fanfics just so I could put my mouth where my rant is, right? It's like, either I hurt people's feelings and/or start some wank or I just seem to be way too general and hating on people's buzz rather than debunking Teh Crazeh Fanon, and I don't even want to do -that- (since when am I a rationalist debunker critical person??), I just like to talk.... Ehhh, it's like, not worth it, man... I'd much rather talk about something -other- than OOCness, like how in the Highlander fic I'm reading, she seems to write het sex okay but the slash bits are atrocious, lame & flowery, and yet I keep reading. -.-

No one would probably even get this example, but I love being able to say anything about this fic 'cause I have no clue about the people or fandom involved. *sigh* I don't have any great anger here, I just find it interesting why it works and doesn't. It sort of reminds me of how Lynn Flewelling wrote her gay bits woodenly, like she can't really imagine two guys liking each other even if she's compelled to write about it. In this case, there's so much telling-not-showing and overthinking everything to the point where the emotions appear to take place in some sort of meta space where nothing's really real because they're so over-described in lofty terms. She's good with action and has some gritty het stuff in the fic, though. Ahh, some people are meant to write gen, I think, and should realize their true calling.

It sort of draws me in 'cause it's such a plotty fic and has an interesting Methos with a history, and he and Duncan snark okay if the writer stops meta-ing about what it means for two seconds. God, I'm seriously getting such a rush saying all this publically :P I think sometimes things fail in interesting ways, and this is one of those times; the fic really tries to be all epic and detailed, and it only falls down trying to be immediate or emotionally relevant, 'cause it's always having that superego-focused remove. I think that's really my issue-- some of the het seemed to involve the Id, but the Duncan/Methos bits were all superego, which is just weird. (Also, I have to say, it's a lot rarer to find a well-written longfic in a fandom that's not HP where the main character is just... the total opposite of his canon self and that self's beliefs/habits/etc. Maybe 'cause the adult characters in TV shows just have more natural body-language & expression so they just feel more well-rounded?? This doesn't apply to most QAF fics I've read, though...)
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So I saw Pirates of the Caribbean, which is the real point of this entry, btw.
    ( Umm...possible spoilers for PoTC2, I guess. )

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In more predictable news, I'm now determined to watch the MI5 teen movie, Stormbreaker. Man, I don't care if it sucks, it has a cute boy who's all doing sekrit-cool-powers stuff. Ahh, I could watch any dreck for the sake of that sort of thing.