[small enough to matter]

I'm starting to truly think that in fact, talking to tech-support people is pure torture, designed to test the mind and break the spirit. Yes.

You know why? WHY?? YES, OH YES, I CAN TELL YOU WHY.

( ...random rage. )

~~

I've been reading fantasy novels recently, both set partly in Scotland. Mmmm, Scotland... I'm not sure if I'm more enamoured with the faerie lore or the actual history (the Picts! Eee!), but-- well, that's normal for me.
    Back when I first went to the fantasy section of Barnes & Noble several days back, I had some major headdesk...ing regarding everything being part of some crappy serial (trilogy being getting off lightly), but my real problem is actually things being crappy. It's just somehow worse when it's also 'part three of five'. (And then they say it's hard to break into the writing business-- I mean, can't be that hard when 90% of what I see is awwwwful.)

But Lisa Tuttle's stuff is really promising and Juliet Marillier is one of the very few people who do historical fantasy to my tastes these days. In epic fantasy especially, my tastes seem to be more exacting than with other types (well, than with urban fantasy), because people seem more likely to write in a dry, ponderous manner and use lots of flowery cliches-- I mean, even the best (Marillier or the other recent Australian, Alison Croggon) have this thing with the flowery descriptions and over-elaborate pretty much everything, and that sense of pompousness which I hate-- but it's more bearable somehow. Probably an actual talent for writing helps.

Though yeah, my issue is generally that when people focus on far-reaching plot and 'environment' or 'social issues' in their writing, the immediacy level goes way way down. Everything, even how things are -described- starts to feel predictable and boring when the focus becomes on the story to the point where the actual writing part is irrelevant. Like, I really don't know how people stand to read it-- not that some cliches aren't comfortingly familiar, but a constant barrage of them with no random sparkle feels like a recitation of a memorized play, doesn't it?

This is why I don't tend to read all the more famous fantasy epics that mark everyone else as a fantasy fan, man. It really takes way more talent than most writers have to make a big story still seem small enough to matter.

Actually, what I really like is some self-consciousness on the part of the narrative-- especially when things become cliche, it really amuses me when the characters are aware they're in a story (not literally, but more in a 'this is like this sort of story' sense). In stories which are based on fairy-tales but set in modern times especially, that works well for me. In a historical fantasy, characters being aware of myths or telling folktales for some reason frames things nicely as well-- or there being other (positive) characters who 'talk sense' or think in a skeptical fashion allows me to identify more with the main heroes. Though too much self-awareness makes for tell-not-show, methinks.
    When the nay-saying character is merely there to be the enemy (and no real attempt at winning anyone over exists), I just get tired of being proselytized at.

Actually, it seems a lot of the fantasy books I've read lately off the top of my head, the main 'sympathetic' character is a 'true believer' or becomes one by necessity or revelation. Generally, I identify with that sort quite well, but when the skeptic or heretic is portrayed sympathetically as being intelligent and discerning and grows as a person without becoming a 'convert', that's even more appealing somehow. Maybe I'm just doomed to liking anti-heroes, I dunno.

HI. (I'm Reena.)

Okay, now I want to have a post just like Sara's, where I'm all upfront about fannish stuff (friending/defriending policies, what secretly bugs me, etc), but the truth is, my biggest thought when people who I don't have friended or know well defriend me is 'oh... I guess I don't write that much fic anymore, huh' or alternately 'oh... I guess they never did read those long rambly meta posts, huh'. Alternately, I'd made one anti-fanon!Draco comment too many. C'mon, YOU ALL KNOW I HAVE :D

I think I start from the assumption I confuse and fail to entertain people and work upward (therefore, if you do comment, it's a nice surprise-- otherwise, you have my longstanding bitterness and self-recrimination about my being too lame/long-winded/confusing/etc to excuse you). I guess that just sounds hideously passive-aggressive, but I honestly do realize the sorts of posts that 'reach out' to people and the sorts of fics that people want to read (funny smut, plotty smut, popular pairing) are the ones people will comment on, and it's totally normal. No pressure.

Of course, it bothers me if I know the person to defriend me that well, but usually I can guess why it happens, and also it doesn't happen very much.

On commenting: eh. I like lurkers, I like comments. I really -desperately- want to think I'm read, especially when it comes to my fics (don't we all-- though I love thoughtful crit better than honey), and I get pretty insecure about only 2-3 comments per fic, and also I'm more into it for the interesting conversations and new connections than pure blogging-- I mean, I don't post about my real life 'cause I don't feel inspired like that. But at the same time I know I don't necessarily invite comments a lot, with fic or meta. I'm amazed as many people as there are have me friended, and pretend you're not actually reading so as not to freak myself out. Like, DUDE. DUUUUUUUUDE. That's. That's... 297 people who usually don't say anything. Even my friends, generally, because there's only a small circle of maybe 5 people who tend to comment regularly at any one time-period and then go into 'sabbatical' (this circle shifts every few months or so)-- except for the perennial sistermagpie. Yes. That's only the people who have me on their flist. I mean. WHY??! If I thought about it too long, I'd be very confused (and possibly paranoid).

It can't be that 95% of you don't read or don't care (wouldn't you have defriended me?? ack! *hides & tries not to think about it*), but that's what I have to assume, right? The more positive option is that I'm confusing and/or you generally have nothing to say, but, uh, in a good way. Um.

No, seriously, if I consciously addressed all of you-- you-- out there-- yeah-- all the time, I'd totally freak out, so in a way it suits me that most people don't comment. I guess it's not that I'm a private person, exactly, in the sense that I want to control who reads or knows what-have-you about me, but. I -am- pretty shy, and only babble in a vaguely dissociated way, because this is 'online' and I'm not really there to have to look at everyone and be aware they're all paying attention right then. So there's that sense of disconnect/delay at the very least which allows me some breathing room.

Anyway, about the Defriending Amnesty thing: go ahead. If a whole mass of you rushes to defriend me, I'll know you were too embarrassed or whatever to do it before, and I won't be surprised, I suppose. It's not that I don't care, but it's also not that I want people to be tired or irritated by me or have to filter me out, y'know? I understand interests change, and I understand most people don't get to know me that well through this lj so they don't have a sense of personal connection, probably, so no personal feelings, right? Okay.
    As for me-- I usually don't defriend, but if I do it's only 'cause the person hasn't posted in a really long time, or our interests have -really- heavily diverged. Sometimes I prune 'cause I get overwhelmed with how long it takes for me to read my flist (I'd much rather spend time on the net reading porn, for which it was invented. Hey, straight up.) It has never once been 'cause I didn't like them. Simple, yeah?

Trying to be more entertaining: meme, by way of furiosity!
    You post a topic, list, category, whatever, in my comments section. (examples: "Top 5 Reasons To Like Draco Malfoy" or "Top 5 Crack Bunnies"). Then, in a separate post, I'll post the answers to all your Top 5 ideas, according to me.