[the shame! the horror!]

Fandom Shame Meme (or: Things I'd Be Ashamed of If I Had Shame)!

1) I (used to, when I read much fanfic) constantly read (and enjoy) oodles of H/D porn on ff.net & aff.net as well as lj that I never feedbacked and I thought had little to no 'redeeming value', not even with a 'hohoho, how charmingly ironic, I shall now mock silently to myself', but with a high willingness and ability to suspend all critical judgment-- sometimes I literally went through every R-and-over H/D fic I could find linked, in vain hopes it was remotely readable. I really have no practical standards to speak of; it's only when my eyes started bleeding from sheer pain that I stopped. Also, the great majority of my favorite HP fics are pretty OOC and I don't much care.

I've liked cutting fics, goth!Draco fics, Veela!Draco fics, gender-bender fics, poor-little-abused!Draco fics, top and bottom!Draco fics-- you name an H/D cliche, I've probably liked at one point. I am proud that I've never liked a nice!Draco or an abusive-and-evil-omg!Draco fic, never ever never, because mommy THAT'S GROSS.

A list:
- Draco in a skirt or girl!Draco; also usually rentboy!Draco
- almost any fic where Draco resents his lot in life as Harry's boyfriend and sex slave (yet sekritly loves it omg!) is fine by me; it's also fine if he's just a sex-slave and is yet so tragically in love with clueless-yet-sekritly-attached!Harry, aww.
- fics where Snape or Ron or whoever has some tragic unrequited lust for Harry and there is some combination of Invisibility Cloak, Astronomy Tower and naked detentions.
- Snape/Draco/Harry/etc is in lust against his will, pines away, wanks, happy ending.
- Harry getting all violent on Draco's ass; basically, Slytherin!Harry but not-- not!-- evil!Harry
- friendship fic where they learn to slowly get along and Draco is really genuinely cool
- fics where Remus always wanted Sirius (and hell, vice versa). awwww.
- Draco is pretty, oh-so-pretty... pretty and witty and briiiiiight... he's also a total flaming queen, clearly.
- meaningless drunken sex except they wake up and realize OMG I CANNOT LEAVE YOU (maybe there's angst first, though).
- lust/love/binding-potions done remotely well; I AM A SUCKER. there is nothing quite like do-I-love-you-or-is-it-the-DRUGS-I'm-on angst. I also love it when they can't move like, 2 meters away from each other or it huuuuurts, oh it hurts. Er. I might also have a slight telepathy thing.
- I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED YOU, HARRY. (*cringes* but he's in denial...!)
- ...Draco angsts and goes to clubs and is slutty and has piercings; Harry is a sincere sort of bad-boy, disillusioned with the war. Angry sex in back alleys, anyone?
- angsty, Sirius-obsessed Remus. It has to happen, mmkay.
- woobie-yet-headstrong!Harry meets prissy-yet-needy!Draco (...or is that canon??)

...But I still take H/D fic and writing quality way too seriously because (in spite of??) all this.

( Actually, I think I did the rest of this meme wrong 'cause at first I totally couldn't think of so many specific types of 'bad' fic and instead went with general fandom stuff. )

[ba-da-bummm!]

You Know You're a Harry Slut (And You Might Need Help) When:


- 1. Get your facts straight: it's Gryffindor Sex God, not Slytherin. Honestly! Harry wins why? Because he deserves to win!!
- 2. Sometimes it still shocks you that there are actually people who like the books in spite of instead of because of Harry. You mean the books are about something other than Harry??!
- 3. Harry fanart makes you squee the most, no matter what he's doing or who he's with. (Wheee, Harry with Hagrid! Harry's hair looks particularly cute in that one!)
- 4. You have or want to have every Harry doll, plushie or action figure ever made. You cuddle (or talk) with one or more at a time. If someone touches the plushie, they DIE!!1 (...but the plushie can cuddle a Draco figure if one's around.)
- 5. Sometimes you think you like Ron or Hermione just 'cause they're Harry's friends. Do they have great taste or what?? Hagrid is also kind of okay (hey, Harry likes him, that's good enough for you!)
- 6. You think Harry definitely deserves to get whatever girl he likes (and that other girl, sure why not...), the boy (and that other boy looks tasty too), and hey, why not also the welcome-wagon and a butterbeer or two? THE BOY NEEDS A REST. SNAP TO IT, EVERYBODY.
- 7. You have to remember to catch yourself to stop thinking of everyone in canon from Harry's pov and over-justifying things.
- 8. Your heart flutters everytime you see that sexy-heroic-glare image of him from the PoA promotional poster, passing by in Blockbuster. Forget about the sword shot from CoS, 'cause even thinking of that makes you twitch in um, glee.
- 9. Your feelings are hurt anytime someone says Harry is something less than adorable in spite and because of all his flaws or doesn't seem to understand HIS DEEP AND MEANINGFUL ANGST. WHY IS THE WORLD SO MEAN??!

and

- 10. You look at the scarily green American HP:HBP cover and think, OMG HARRY! I'VE MISSED YOU SO! YOU LOOK SMASHING, AND HEY, A LITTLE BIT OLDER! AWWWW YOU'RE GROWING UP!! BABY!! I CANNOT WAIT TILL I'M CLUTCHING YOU FEVERISHLY IN MY HAPPY LITTLE PAWS! AAAH! WHY MUST YOUR DORKY GLASSES ENTHRALL ME SO??!

.... And then you see the British cover and think, WAH NO HARRY! NOOOooooo -.-