~~ comrade slash thoughts

More than half the couples I like together have been friends first, and.... Having read a bit of Kirk/Spock lately, I've realized I'd grown out of my squick, but I still don't like the idea. It's weird, because I love quite a few friends-turned-soulmates matches... but since I loved the friendship alone for so long in this case, it made me realize that by "expanding", it really loses something precious.

I think it's different to me when the pairing is a squabbling duo, I guess-- where they argue and get on each other's nerves and drive each other mad, so there was never that sort of smooth, seamless melding between them. I think a squabbling, ever-uneasy (yet devoted) friendship makes a -great- romantic relationship because they never become a -unit-, quite. They're both quite ridiculously individualistic and need their space, as much as they love each other. It's like they're always going to be coming apart as much as they come together.

The thing that bothers me is the idea that at some point, a really deep friendship is not enough. That... it's just not satisfying somehow. Not deep enough? Not broad enough? Not fulfilling enough. Possibly not extreme enough? Something like that. And I'd be the first to say that 'love is not enough', but it's somewhat offensive when that's "fixed" by the addition of... well... sex.

( Issues. I have... issues. )

But I can't vouch for my analysis, of course. I'm a bad friend, I think, in that I go through periods where I crave space-- a lot of space. Even the deepest bond couldn't keep me in constant contact with someone. *sigh* It all gets to be too much, I guess, and the pulling away from everyone isn't even something I control. I know other people aren't... um... necessarily like this. Wah. But. I should say that "just" friendship... every person I really feel like I -know-... it means everything to me.