~~ Join Us! The starving elite!

I'm having an interesting moral dilemma recently that I can't seem to crack by myself.

I found a site, Juxtaposefantasy.net, which is basically decent original slash fiction in several different fantasy-type universes-- as a paid, subscription service. $9.99 a month, no less. The writer updates one of the story universes once a week, etc etc.

My first reaction to this was horror-- paying for slash?? Please! Who does she think she is?! ...That was also my second and third reaction.

And then I read some of the teaser chapters, and was hooked. I'm a sucker for suspense things-- which is why I try to avoid suspense fiction and don't mind spoilers. I don't -seek out- spoilers, but I'm one of those people who hates that awful itch of having to know that seems to please most people. It just... bothers me. I know most people get off on it... and I do like the small adrenaline rush, I guess. But I'm too prone to compulsive, addictive behaviors already, I think, and suspense fics just make it too much for me to take and I overload. I realize most well-written fic is in the suspense category if it's a WIP, come to think of it, so I've been reading almost exclusively that for awhile now. Hmm. Maybe it's worse if the actual content is a thriller also. Er... but that's a complete tangent.

Anyway, I paid the money, but now I feel horribly dirty and uncomfortable with myself. It raises all sorts of awkward questions, this discomfort.

( Questions like.... )

...I suppose all this goes a ways to explain why I still haven't even attempted to be published, huh :> Besides the whole "my original fic is (generally unfinished) crap" thing -.-