~~ phoenixes, hmm...?

Do I even know what transcendence is? (Well, maybe most people don't.)

I talk about it all the time, don't I? I want to say, but hate becoming need becoming love, that's transcendence. That's happiness, when there are no boundaries, when all emotions are one, when there is no dirty corner, no darkness hidden. When everything is fused, demons and angels in love. That's what it would be like in some fantasy world where people were ideas, wouldn't it? But people only think they're ideas. Really, they're nothing of the kind.

Buffy has to love the demon in Spike, in my mind, just as Spike has to let go of the need for direct kinship and love the Other in her. Harry has to accept that Draco is a Slytherin, that he's different even as he's the same, that they're not secretly "just like" each other. Harry -doesn't- belong in Slytherin or vice versa, otherwise what's the point? We all already contain our own opposites within us, we don't need to project them onto others, really. It's best to see other people as human beings, isn't it?

I love the idea of loving the demon so much. It has such power to me. I think I'm obsessed with it, with the concept of a darkness one could touch and know and love. I don't know if that makes it tame or if that redeems it or yourself-- all I know is that when I think of it, I envision some sort of impossibly aching happiness, like how you'd feel right before you died of it.

( Yep, writing Harry/Draco angst again... )