~~ Happy Birthday, Tom. Wow, you're legal now, supposedly.

Hi Tom,

I think it's really for the best that you'll never see this.

It's your 16th birthday, and this means I get to pervertedly fetishise you with impunity now, even though I'm 9 years older than you (at least I'm female?). If I wanted. But I don't want. I mean, you have a cute mouth and you're skinny and sometimes they catch you with that -look- and it's just -guh-, because you sure know how to act angsty when you want to (and believe me, I appreciate that), and er... yeah, but.

I actually haven't thought about you much, beyond thinking you're sort of doofy and cute, and well, fish. I appreciate someone with a hobby, though I must say fishing is not my thing, though I love it fried. At all. Then again, I'm from New York City. Once I thought it'd be an interesting pastime to take up, but flaming enthusiasm for killing marine life... isn't up my alley, let's just say that.

Nevertheless, I think you're a swell boy. I mean, in person, I'd probably hide from you, because cute boys intimidate me (yep, heard it here first), but you see, we have to get one thing straight (and I'm sure this'll be no surprise):

You are not Draco. I love Draco (you probably think that's messed up, and you're probably right, but however), and I think confusing you and Draco would be a Very Bad Idea.

So while I enjoy your portrayal of Malfoy (I think it's... er... better than it could've been, and also you sure know how to use your eyebrows), I'm not really a -fan-, per se. I think you look adorable with Daniel. Have you considered.... nevermind. Pretend I didn't write that. I hope you get a girlfriend soon, and I really hope she's not into Harry Potter (er... the books, I mean). I mean, I wish you the best, let's just leave it at that.

So let me just reiterate that you're not Draco. Even if you were Draco, I wouldn't want to molest you, because... well... I'm a Muggle, see. Yeah. But let's just not talk about Draco. I bet you don't think about him much outside filming, right? I think you're cute when you sneer. That's probably not what you're going for, but I mean... win some, lose some. Jason Isaacs makes me laugh-- at least you make me grin happily, in that -good- way.

Anyway. I am wordy, as you can see. Have a great birthday, and get as drunk as you possibly can.

With love,

Reena.
~~

Also. Hedwig is the patron saint of death of children & victims of jealousy. That completely makes up for the name being not as cool as Yo-Yo :D :D :D

EDIT - omfg, the HPFGU Fantastic Posts page has completely strained my brain. OMG, EVERYONE IS MORE BRILLIANT THAN ME >:O On the other hand, where is the fucking Draco link?!?!??