~~ `thirst' - hermione-centric ficlet inspired by rhoddlet.

rhoddlet wrote a ron/hermione drabble upon my request which made me shiver and think about hermione some.... i think i'm kind of bothered by hermione a lot of times, maybe a bit the way i am with percy and snape. there is something about this compulsive, obsessive thirst for knowledge and control and power taken together that i can both identify with and which horrifies me.

luna puts me more at ease, with her soft, imaginative relationship with words and ideas, her need to interact with them and to spin her own tales to believe in, not just -use- them to make things happen. sometimes i think controlling things like that only seems disturbing because i can't do it very well. whatever it is, hermione pushes some strange little buttons in me.
    i was supposed to write evil!hermione with draco for ethrosdemon awhile ago, but found i can't bear to look at hermione like that. i like her with ron-- seen through his eyes: bemused, affectionate, not-quite-understanding, infatuated. i like seeing her as a girl with needs for companionship and laughter, a girl who doesn't quite know her own place and buries herself in facts and figures to prop her up, give her the confidence to stand on her own like she'd always thought she had to. but i don't want her to be -evil- anymore than i want to see -myself- as being evil, and my own need for knowledge to be used against me. not to mention, i simply -can't- see her with draco. i just can't. i'm sorry, i can't, okay?

but rhoddlet's drabble made me think. or rather, write. i'm -supposed- to be writing other things right now, but whenever i think that, it means i won't do it. i -want-, i really really want to write my birthday fic and get it off my chest. but who wishes anyone a happy birthday 2 weeks late, anyway? well, i will. no, i -will-. even harry-- i have harry yet to wish a happy birthday too. poor woobie. oh well, he'll forgive me. ahahaha i give him sex, he -has- to forgive me. also, i haven't been reading my friends page (er... taking a break, or something), so if i haven't responded to your brilliant whatever-it-is, just comment with a link and i will, okay? okay.

so. here it is. expect my posts to be ficcish for the next few days or week or whatever. hopefully. then back to meta. yes, i'm sure everyone's holding their breath or whatever. i'm on a roll, though. heheheeh. and i'm a feedback slut, so.

    ( `Thirst' - hermione-centric ficlet, dark, semi-warfic. did i mention dark? and weird? and very much inspired by rhoddlet. )