~~ ootp and draco.

it's just one of those days when i want to -bite- someone. damn campus police. damn my stupid job. DAMN EVERYTHING!!!!!1!11! excuse me while i indulge in a bit of pointless screaming. *breathes*.
ok.

and here's where i admit it: my perception of draco is very much colored by fanon, fanon expectations, fanon reactiveness. i see a lot i don't like in fanon draco, and i can enunciate what all the myriad flaws in fanon!draco are, and i can easily pin down this and that preposterous aspect of him that'll never remotely resemble the original version-- but in the end, i somewhat resent canon draco for never fulfilling expectations honed on fanon. i want so many things from him, and he doesn't deliver. the stories in which he -does- deliver often tend to go either really -really- dark and pathetic or really -really- charming and attractive. it's easy to spot the draco's that are too much, because the original is so obviously spare, but it's really hard to extrapolate -better-, to see clearer, to actually define what he -is- and yet leave room for what i want him to be, to connect those things without hurting one or the other. and yet as an h/d writer, and secondarily as a panelist at nimbus in three weeks, i have to pay more attention to draco. and yes, ootp draco, little as there may seem to go on.

so. i suppose the question of `why draco' has become even more relevant after ootp-- since not much has happened to him, and the divide between him and harry has both become wider and more violent.

draco could be said to be stagnating or getting worse or maybe even becoming more serious, by the end-- or more oblivious-- depending on how one looks at it. draco has always been highly dependent on interpretation, and now that's coming to bite us on the ass more than ever, i guess.

yes, i admit it-- seeing as how harry is now so snarky and dark and badass, that kind of steals draco's thunder completely, doesn't it. in lasair's words, now there's nothing to like draco for. or so it seems.

so i have to let go of my desires of him, my disappointment in him, my desire for him to be as good as harry, equal to harry somehow, and just see him for himself just like i see harry for himself, outside of draco. because as long as i think-- well this is just one more way he's not harry, he's not good enough for harry-- i'm getting farther and farther away from actually having a chance to understand him and his individual potential. so yes. this is a quest to reimagine draco malfoy outside of harry potter in a post-ootp environment.

( ootp!draco spoilers abound. )

~~

and oh, yah this rules my ass, man. very hardcore-- i adore every single character so much it hurts. that is difficult when one of them is umbridge -.- aaaand... her luna even -dresses- like me. coincidence...? i think not! :D
    same could be said for all of ivy's fics, too, but `dead by morning'...... wah. haaaaarrryyy. best ootp fic yet, and i've been quite, quite fond of a few.