~~ dv13, but not really.
Jun. 12th, 2003 01:15 pmthe main response, i think, to something that matters to me-- stories moving me-- is just pure emotion, and i don't know where to put it. it's transitory, ephemeral in terms of precise memory, tracing the pathways and the actual reasons for it... it lingers, yes, but it acquires its own life, like the wind that has moved dry, fallen leaves into a frenzy. feeling like i have to -say- something in return, and yet when i really -should-, and it's intense and living, i just can't. i keep noticing that. the deepest response i have is silence.
that's why i write (or draw) in response to writing, because that too, comes out of silence. i feel a bit overwhelmed, trying to keep up with everyone's writing-- or anyone's writing-- and the last bit i did read, i can't say anything coherent about. the ghost story for dv13 is tangling in my mind with all the other ghost harry's, clamoring at me to hear something, to say something, but i don't know what. there is so much depth there, in people drifting apart but never leaving, in being bound so tightly you no longer see the other person, only feel this emptiness inside you, like wind through an enclosed courtyard, and you assume it's nothing, it's gone, it's all over because it never escapes. but it's so present you just can't feel it anymore, it has made you numb.
just, the idea of interlocking circles, people who touch but not close enough, not enough to actually -see- the other, and you end up speaking to each other on and on, and it's like you were alone in the room, because you could never say the right thing, the magic that made it be that, just that, is gone. and you're left with just words and scattered meanings everywhere. this isn't really a review, because what would i say? i always say that, and then i say things anyway, but they're not really enough... i just feel these layers stretching beyond what i can articulate. they frustrate me. i know they're there, all these variations on meaning, and i can't quite pinpoint them. if i did, i'd end up commenting on every little thing, laughing and gasping and transcribing, like a story about a story.
( and okay, i'm kind of talking about dv13 but not. )
~~
and. hee. this is my perfect harry. must bow down before alessandra at first opportunity (also, more can be found here).
that's why i write (or draw) in response to writing, because that too, comes out of silence. i feel a bit overwhelmed, trying to keep up with everyone's writing-- or anyone's writing-- and the last bit i did read, i can't say anything coherent about. the ghost story for dv13 is tangling in my mind with all the other ghost harry's, clamoring at me to hear something, to say something, but i don't know what. there is so much depth there, in people drifting apart but never leaving, in being bound so tightly you no longer see the other person, only feel this emptiness inside you, like wind through an enclosed courtyard, and you assume it's nothing, it's gone, it's all over because it never escapes. but it's so present you just can't feel it anymore, it has made you numb.
just, the idea of interlocking circles, people who touch but not close enough, not enough to actually -see- the other, and you end up speaking to each other on and on, and it's like you were alone in the room, because you could never say the right thing, the magic that made it be that, just that, is gone. and you're left with just words and scattered meanings everywhere. this isn't really a review, because what would i say? i always say that, and then i say things anyway, but they're not really enough... i just feel these layers stretching beyond what i can articulate. they frustrate me. i know they're there, all these variations on meaning, and i can't quite pinpoint them. if i did, i'd end up commenting on every little thing, laughing and gasping and transcribing, like a story about a story.
( and okay, i'm kind of talking about dv13 but not. )
~~
and. hee. this is my perfect harry. must bow down before alessandra at first opportunity (also, more can be found here).
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