~~ i beg to disagree.

i know this is human nature, but i still think it's ironic. i've often wondered at how the most important revelations seem to be things we feel like we've always known. this is almost contradictory, isn't it, 'cause if we'd always known them, then why do we need a "revelation"? of course, self-knowledge is a huge goal all in itself, but you'd think revelation would have to involve some sort of greater knowledge, something outside you as an individual.

but i actually usually find it beautiful, ever since death (in the sandman) said that everyone already knows everything there is to know, but the forgetting is all that makes it okay sometimes.
    but the thing that bothers me is a somewhat different aspect. why is it always that anytime someone expresses admiration or excitement about what someone else had said, it's because that person is basically saying something they agree with? the world is so full of yes-men, and god it's sickening.
    the people that are most commonly disliked are usually ones that one disagrees with. and all these social ties form from this idea of agreement or disagreement. i agree, thus i like you. i disagree, thus you piss me off.

on the one hand, it's inescapable:
    seeing something that one wholeheartedly agrees with is just an intensely pleasurable thing. that feeling of "YES!! i am not alone!". that's just, priceless. that rush of warmth, that thick, gooey feeling of kinship. kinship is one of the most precious things in life, the basis of human bonding, really.
    on the other hand, intellectually, using kinship alone for revelation and opinion-making bothers me.

there is a beauty in all sorts of convictions, merely in their construction and the patterns behind them. there are so many different things i myself can empathize with without -being- them. that's just so natural for me that it always startles me that people limit themselves in terms of what range of conviction they empathize with.
    there is definitely a line between realizing one is -like- another person, and just creating this sort of cirle of mutual back-patting which is contrary to real intellectual stimulation.

i myself enjoy people disagreeing with me perhaps moreso than people agreeing with me. i love the sudden shock of realizing that a point of view i hadn't considered at all, ever, suddenly makes sense to me. i love being convinced, even for a moment, by the power of superior argument.
    for instance, everyone who knows me knows i ship harry/draco with all the rabid heat of a thousand suns. and i do love pro-h/d rants and essays and they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. but i equally love anti-h/d rants and essays, and they make me tingly and excited, too.
    there is just that wonderful, unmistakeable pleasure of a challenge. there are so many differently-minded people in the world, and a largish number of them are brilliant, absolutely brilliant. and i think that's where the most real, intense revelations come from-- from listening to the "other side", from letting go of ego and actually trying to understand all the things that are unnatural.

( . . . and yes, my verbosity does scare me, yes. )

~~

EDIT - i've read 12 out of the bbc's 100 books list, and am not likely to voluntarily read any others. ha. considering that list is just what's -commonly read-, not what's worthwhile, i'm okay. plus, i don't care what's worthwhile. 90% of what i read since age 13 has been obscure fantasy and some sci-fi, and i don't care.
    why am i so easily annoyed??! because gahd, i'm so. easily. annoyed. gah.