~~ obligatory matrix meta.

in random news, i've found the_smooth_one, who apparently makes a practice of writing kinky bobby/st. john fic. which is all hot-- i meant good-- er, i mean porn (YOUNG BOBBY-WAN!! muwahahahah!!). but that's not my point (just had to mention it because-- well-- just because.)
     anyway.
    ( somewhat for kassie's benefit, but mostly because seeing `matrix reloaded' made me get all existential & meta & stuff. and w00t! coat-cult ahoy. )

~~ war. what are we fighting for.

it somewhat bothers me, my lack of interest in thinking about people making hugely wrong choices that kill people, people's lives controlling the lives of others, the sense that nothing you do anymore is of your own making. many, many people write about the angst and frustration inherent in someone choosing to be "on the wrong side". how the hero would feel knowing that he wants a villain, someone he finds morally disgusting. how would a hero cope, etc.

the problem is, if you set up a world where there -is- an obvious "wrong side", where everyone who joins is wrong and dark and morally decrepit, you're automatically sliding right into the worst sort of fantasy world. i mean, who'd argue that voldemort is evil? no one. this is why it's a children's book. but even so-- just because you follow voldemort doesn't -make- you voldemort. just because you're a nazi doesn't mean you're morally vacant. there are so many lies both sides tell themselves, there isn't anyone contemporaneous with them who could judge them fairly.
    what about all those axioms? there is no right or wrong, only power and so on. all those cliches about war must hold -some- truth to them.

    ( reading `drawing circles' was just the last straw, i guess. sigh. )