~~wherein i realize ze dangers of ze fandom loff. er. yah.

i had one of those realizations that are quite obvious but jar me all the same. it's always like that. i always realize things that are quite obvious, and delight in it, because the pleasure is the same-- of discovery-- whether something is a mystery of the universe, or of my heart, or of the most minute happenstance.

olympia_m asked me once what i thought the flaw in beauty was. and it's simple, really. the flaw in beauty is our own limited perception of it. we cannot perceive perfect beauty, but only pieces of it. we each have our own beauty, our own way of understanding-- and that's perfectly all right-- it's just not-- well-- perfect. i don't usually go around demanding perfection... but....

it occurs to me that really, everything i say is very limited by my emotional response, most of the time. people tend to think i'm not babbling nonsense (who knows why), but really-- almost everything i say is off the cuff and completely uncensored. not premeditated except as far as planning to say it beforehand, but not editing beforehand, really. i have these gut responses to beauty, to art, to writing-- i love it or i hate it or it leaves me cold. my enthusiasm and desire to babble and share comes from my complete solipsism, my total immersion in my own little world of pleasure. and the awful thing is-- i will still defend myself, even now. i will tell you-- that fic that i say is pure magic? yes, that fic. it really -is- that good. i would dare anyone to prove me wrong-- and how can you? unless you spoke my exact language of desire, you never could. i can't even see outside myself enough to truly convince myself of my own limitation. i am merely -hypothesizing- that i am limited, rather than seeing outside of myself, truly.

( wah. fannishness is a tangled web, indeed. woe. angst. )

~~

ahem :D

on that note.
    ztrin wrote another beautiful, gorgeous, glorious fic which makes me gibber in star-struck envy. it's gen. it's ron pov. it's brilliance. hee. you better believe me, too ~;)
    and just how woobie -is- zahra's little afterthought to `unlabeled'?? gah. woobie. woobie, i tell you!! WOOBIE!!
    although, honestly, probably not -quite- as woobie as the harry from the american ootp cover. now -that- is woobie. my -gahd-. all i can think is... wah. draco stands no chance, ehehehehe. i am so inappropriately gleeful!! i. love. it.