Teenage apprentices in the Renaissance were working dogs. Teenagers now are neurotic lapdogs. *laughs and laughs*
oh, this is priceless ^^
also, here:
Indeed, one of the most characteristic nerd flaws is an addiction to newsgroup posting.
omg! ahahaha. this explains the lj thing!! ahahahahahah
and. this fic is so bad, i think it gave me actual physical pain. the paaaaain boss, the paaaaain. although. there's a certain masochism involved, of course. like, okay, just -how- bad can it -get-?? oh, oh, very very bad. dobby must shut ears in iron maiden now -.-
although, honestly, this is sort of when i think i know exactly what sort of person wrote something. i mean, obviously 14-16, female, american suburb dweller, in a quiet, boring sort of high school. she's dated a little, and angsted a lot, and she believes in holding hands and taking it slow, even though she wants her boyfriend to be passionate and lustful, just really really sensitive. she reads romance novels of one sort or another, and she thinks draco is really sweet and misunderstood because -everyone- who's mean is sweet and misunderstood, but even moreso if they're cute.
i think i can tell a lot from judicious use of words like "dating", descriptions of virginal nervousness, and really bad spelling, ahahahah. also, if lucius abuses his son, this automatically tends to make me think of that whole "crazed midwestern wife-beater" thing, i don't know why. i mean, if you transported lucius into the midwestern suburbs, gave him a pretty little blonde wife and a delicate effeminate son, and also have him have a temper-- oh yah, there's some violence there. *laughs* of course, this sort of reminds me of japanese ideas of yaoi-- where one boy is always "the girl", although in much fanfic both boys are "the girl", which actually makes me laugh because that just makes this femmeslash, which i think is hilarious, because i so want to see femmeslash this bad, so i can laugh even harder.
i can see it now.
"oh, ginny! you're crying! let me wipe those tears away, you beautiful, scarred soul you!"
"oh, hermione!" *more crying* "finally, you understand how i've always loved you! oh! touch me gently on my hand, yes, and let me nuzzle my head into your shoulder, and let us weep together as we fall away into blissful virginal sleep!"
"i will never let anyone hurt you again, ginny! harry and ron are safe from my womanly wrath no longer!! i will be your protectress and you will never need shed these beautiful tears again! oh, let me mop them up with my mouth...."
*together* "mmmmm..."
"i think i might faint away from all this overwhelming virginal bliss-- soon to be not-so-virginal, i fear!" *girlish giggling*
"oh yes, my beauty. we will show each other the ways of love...."
ok, i think i'm grossing myself out, here, so i'll stop ><;;
oh, this is priceless ^^
also, here:
Indeed, one of the most characteristic nerd flaws is an addiction to newsgroup posting.
omg! ahahaha. this explains the lj thing!! ahahahahahah
and. this fic is so bad, i think it gave me actual physical pain. the paaaaain boss, the paaaaain. although. there's a certain masochism involved, of course. like, okay, just -how- bad can it -get-?? oh, oh, very very bad. dobby must shut ears in iron maiden now -.-
although, honestly, this is sort of when i think i know exactly what sort of person wrote something. i mean, obviously 14-16, female, american suburb dweller, in a quiet, boring sort of high school. she's dated a little, and angsted a lot, and she believes in holding hands and taking it slow, even though she wants her boyfriend to be passionate and lustful, just really really sensitive. she reads romance novels of one sort or another, and she thinks draco is really sweet and misunderstood because -everyone- who's mean is sweet and misunderstood, but even moreso if they're cute.
i think i can tell a lot from judicious use of words like "dating", descriptions of virginal nervousness, and really bad spelling, ahahahah. also, if lucius abuses his son, this automatically tends to make me think of that whole "crazed midwestern wife-beater" thing, i don't know why. i mean, if you transported lucius into the midwestern suburbs, gave him a pretty little blonde wife and a delicate effeminate son, and also have him have a temper-- oh yah, there's some violence there. *laughs* of course, this sort of reminds me of japanese ideas of yaoi-- where one boy is always "the girl", although in much fanfic both boys are "the girl", which actually makes me laugh because that just makes this femmeslash, which i think is hilarious, because i so want to see femmeslash this bad, so i can laugh even harder.
i can see it now.
"oh, ginny! you're crying! let me wipe those tears away, you beautiful, scarred soul you!"
"oh, hermione!" *more crying* "finally, you understand how i've always loved you! oh! touch me gently on my hand, yes, and let me nuzzle my head into your shoulder, and let us weep together as we fall away into blissful virginal sleep!"
"i will never let anyone hurt you again, ginny! harry and ron are safe from my womanly wrath no longer!! i will be your protectress and you will never need shed these beautiful tears again! oh, let me mop them up with my mouth...."
*together* "mmmmm..."
"i think i might faint away from all this overwhelming virginal bliss-- soon to be not-so-virginal, i fear!" *girlish giggling*
"oh yes, my beauty. we will show each other the ways of love...."
ok, i think i'm grossing myself out, here, so i'll stop ><;;
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