well, the fates are against me, when it comes to the stupid cross-dressing fic, anyway. it's too long to paste here (i can't even -believe- that, but it's true). it seems that if i really don't want to write something, i get really pissy and -force- it out of me. like, begone evil fic! begone and never trouble me again!
this seems to get writing done. on the other hand, if i -like- the fic, and enjoy thinking about it, i'm just sort of, tralalala, i can do this -aaaany- old time, this is fun and happy, and i'll just think about it some more...yes.
on the other other hand, if i -really- don't like it, i just -never- do it. unless i feel -really- guilty, and gift fics are one of those `really guilty' things. but i dunno if i'm supposed to post it, because of `armchair santa' rules, and then there's the whole, `my recipient hasn't replied in days, days, days' thing, and... it's really -long- so i feel like it needs some sort of... um. reaction. from someone. before i forgot i did it. gift fics especially throw this into stark relief-- it's like, i didn't even do this for myself, dammit, and so on.
anyway, as fate would have it, i -can't- post it here (it's too long!)...
so here. `something stupid' it is. someone take pity on me and tell me something objective about it, or something, and i'll consign it to my pile of `best forgotten' and go on to write my True Story of How and Why Harry And Draco Fell In Love, the Ultimate Version, ahahahaha. um.
( which is actually a whole 'nother kettle of fish... )
anyway. so it is somewhat strange my dream is to read/write the Ultimate Version of harry and draco. but in the end, i just want to write what i truly believe. i want to find out what that is. i want to speak in the voices of these characters, i want to really -find- their voices within me.
and maybe i can just write it as i see it. This Is How It Must've Been, like a reconstruction, a piecing back together of a theoretical history of their love. This is Why. like a game with moves and counter-moves, that dance of emotion and action that ends up with the flowering of realization. there are the constraints of character, of their situations, of the presence of secondary characters, parents, foes, teachers. by the presence of end result, of desired dynamic, of given outside circumstances, you should be able to add in your own imagination and vision, and achieve the story you believe should be written.... or not. *sigh*
( anyway. a cookie from `tangents'-- which isn't what i believe, but nonethelesss it is a piece of it.... )
this seems to get writing done. on the other hand, if i -like- the fic, and enjoy thinking about it, i'm just sort of, tralalala, i can do this -aaaany- old time, this is fun and happy, and i'll just think about it some more...yes.
on the other other hand, if i -really- don't like it, i just -never- do it. unless i feel -really- guilty, and gift fics are one of those `really guilty' things. but i dunno if i'm supposed to post it, because of `armchair santa' rules, and then there's the whole, `my recipient hasn't replied in days, days, days' thing, and... it's really -long- so i feel like it needs some sort of... um. reaction. from someone. before i forgot i did it. gift fics especially throw this into stark relief-- it's like, i didn't even do this for myself, dammit, and so on.
anyway, as fate would have it, i -can't- post it here (it's too long!)...
so here. `something stupid' it is. someone take pity on me and tell me something objective about it, or something, and i'll consign it to my pile of `best forgotten' and go on to write my True Story of How and Why Harry And Draco Fell In Love, the Ultimate Version, ahahahaha. um.
( which is actually a whole 'nother kettle of fish... )
anyway. so it is somewhat strange my dream is to read/write the Ultimate Version of harry and draco. but in the end, i just want to write what i truly believe. i want to find out what that is. i want to speak in the voices of these characters, i want to really -find- their voices within me.
and maybe i can just write it as i see it. This Is How It Must've Been, like a reconstruction, a piecing back together of a theoretical history of their love. This is Why. like a game with moves and counter-moves, that dance of emotion and action that ends up with the flowering of realization. there are the constraints of character, of their situations, of the presence of secondary characters, parents, foes, teachers. by the presence of end result, of desired dynamic, of given outside circumstances, you should be able to add in your own imagination and vision, and achieve the story you believe should be written.... or not. *sigh*
( anyway. a cookie from `tangents'-- which isn't what i believe, but nonethelesss it is a piece of it.... )
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