~~ I miss the nonsense, dammit!
May. 3rd, 2004 04:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaIt's natural to want to be certain of things in life, isn't it? Especially of things one's emotionally invested in. Natural to want to trust that people will feel the same tomorrow and the next day and next year, in spite of the fact that this is unrealistic, and especially -because- it is. Natural to want security in a world where chaos and pain are hidden around every corner. I want to believe in that too... that hope.
But there's a difference, isn't there, between some anchor of certainty and the drag of pure stifling predictability? One can be free from unbending fate while retaining some constants, right? Maybe? I like to think so.
I like to think there's a living compromise to be had between the bindings of memory and emotion and... the sheer whimsy of each new moment.
The thing most people don't seem to -get- (and by 'people' I really mean fanfic romance writers), is the sheer... messy imperfection of life. Oh sure, there's plenty of utter -horridness- and squalor and angst out in fanfic land, but not so much of a delicate, constant drift. Constant confusion and upheaval that doesn't have beginning or end, with short periods of rest. That's what life seems to be like to -me-. Shouldn't fiction be like that? At least somewhat ambiguous?
One reads a mystery or a romance with similar goals for a resolution, it seems to me-- where all the pieces fall into place, pretty much perfectly. If there are loose ends, people ask for sequels, and frequently write them. If the characters act strangely, people want explanations. There's all this rationalization and equivocation that goes on, especially in fanfic, where everything about canon is so painfully analyzed and noticed.
I know this may seem funny, all things considered, but I don't like noticing things about fics. I don't do it by inclination. I usually just let these things wash over me. I'd rather just -experience- things than break them into pieces. It's unnatural to me to fuss over small details, anyway. I don't tend to care how things "fit together" chronologically and what small continuity/logic errors a writer makes. I also don't care what hidden symbolism stands behind someone's use of purple in a character's dress or why they named someone Prudence, etc. So there's a reason I don't generally discuss "canon". All I care about is a sense of -vividness-, of emotional vitality and realism. Of course, that's just me.
In fact, I'm kind of tired of people writing fics where everything makes a rigid sort of sense. Slot A -has- to go into Slot B. On one level, I really envy that ability 'cause I don't have it for crap, myself, but... just once, I wish I read a story that was actually well-written, that was also... messy. Uncomfortable. Where people didn't love each other with any real predictability, where power relationships fluctuated semi-chaotically, where the thing that was hard to predict wasn't plot but people's hearts.
I'm really bad at predicting (or caring, or thinking about) plot, so I always felt bemused at people who groaned about its utter pervasive predictability in most people's writing. I don't analyze things like that. It's only recently that I realized I'm sick of the predictability of people in fics, so I know how those people feel. Of course, in reality, most people -are- kind of predictable, but these aren't the interesting people, are they.
This kind of relates weirdly to the concept of being "in character", since that whole notion pretty much depends on being able to know for sure how someone will behave in a particular situation. What a load of bullshit, anyway. One can make a reasonable and well-educated guess, of course. But people are chaotic creatures. Aren't they?
I admit my problem may stem with the fact that I myself almost never know what's going on with my character's hearts (even if I actually have a plot in mind, by some miracle). I'm always taken by surprise just as they are, and by the end I don't usually reach an understanding so much as have them pause; there's generally a sense of this stage being done with. And I don't know what the next "stage" is, either. This is especially amusing to me since I can break down the characters' motivations into tiny little logical pieces, when it's other people's work and I can see it from the outside.
So I guess I keep looking for the fic where it wouldn't be so blindingly transparent, or something. It'd be nice if someone gave me a run for my money, no? (Ha... come to think of it... it's this sort of sense of emotional mystery which entrances me about Silvia's work, definitely... maybe Maya's Draco, too... though sometimes it's the certainty I adore, like with Aja, eheheh. Has to be the right kind, though.).
I resent seeing all these stories where the characters have a clear path that they follow, and clear lessons that they learn, and clear attachments that they make. Even if they're confused, eventually they figure things out and either "win" or "lose" in getting what they want; possibly, they settle for second best or whatever. Thing is, they come to a static sort of understanding, with a sense of hindsight. "Oh, so -that's- what I felt/feel. Ohhhh." And of course, this leaves the reader (me included) rather satisfied with the blatant fantasy.
Funny, because I love stories where two people always have a link, a bond, that survives pretty much anything. It's that fantasy of certainty, of there being something to trust, to hope for, something that wouldn't fade or tarnish or be diminished by anything. I know exactly what it's like.
All sorts of trials may occur, and these two people never waver. I love that, but that's -rare- and precious because it's -in contrast- to a world where everything is always up for grabs. And people's relationships change, anyway. Even if they're constantly -together-, they're not going to remain the same people over time. Their needs will change. Their perceptions of each other will change. If they are static, they might as well be dead, ideals of faithfulness or not.
All of this is so general. You'd never guess this is all because I'm reading threesome fics against my will, pretty much, would you.
*sigh*
But there's a difference, isn't there, between some anchor of certainty and the drag of pure stifling predictability? One can be free from unbending fate while retaining some constants, right? Maybe? I like to think so.
I like to think there's a living compromise to be had between the bindings of memory and emotion and... the sheer whimsy of each new moment.
The thing most people don't seem to -get- (and by 'people' I really mean fanfic romance writers), is the sheer... messy imperfection of life. Oh sure, there's plenty of utter -horridness- and squalor and angst out in fanfic land, but not so much of a delicate, constant drift. Constant confusion and upheaval that doesn't have beginning or end, with short periods of rest. That's what life seems to be like to -me-. Shouldn't fiction be like that? At least somewhat ambiguous?
One reads a mystery or a romance with similar goals for a resolution, it seems to me-- where all the pieces fall into place, pretty much perfectly. If there are loose ends, people ask for sequels, and frequently write them. If the characters act strangely, people want explanations. There's all this rationalization and equivocation that goes on, especially in fanfic, where everything about canon is so painfully analyzed and noticed.
I know this may seem funny, all things considered, but I don't like noticing things about fics. I don't do it by inclination. I usually just let these things wash over me. I'd rather just -experience- things than break them into pieces. It's unnatural to me to fuss over small details, anyway. I don't tend to care how things "fit together" chronologically and what small continuity/logic errors a writer makes. I also don't care what hidden symbolism stands behind someone's use of purple in a character's dress or why they named someone Prudence, etc. So there's a reason I don't generally discuss "canon". All I care about is a sense of -vividness-, of emotional vitality and realism. Of course, that's just me.
In fact, I'm kind of tired of people writing fics where everything makes a rigid sort of sense. Slot A -has- to go into Slot B. On one level, I really envy that ability 'cause I don't have it for crap, myself, but... just once, I wish I read a story that was actually well-written, that was also... messy. Uncomfortable. Where people didn't love each other with any real predictability, where power relationships fluctuated semi-chaotically, where the thing that was hard to predict wasn't plot but people's hearts.
I'm really bad at predicting (or caring, or thinking about) plot, so I always felt bemused at people who groaned about its utter pervasive predictability in most people's writing. I don't analyze things like that. It's only recently that I realized I'm sick of the predictability of people in fics, so I know how those people feel. Of course, in reality, most people -are- kind of predictable, but these aren't the interesting people, are they.
This kind of relates weirdly to the concept of being "in character", since that whole notion pretty much depends on being able to know for sure how someone will behave in a particular situation. What a load of bullshit, anyway. One can make a reasonable and well-educated guess, of course. But people are chaotic creatures. Aren't they?
I admit my problem may stem with the fact that I myself almost never know what's going on with my character's hearts (even if I actually have a plot in mind, by some miracle). I'm always taken by surprise just as they are, and by the end I don't usually reach an understanding so much as have them pause; there's generally a sense of this stage being done with. And I don't know what the next "stage" is, either. This is especially amusing to me since I can break down the characters' motivations into tiny little logical pieces, when it's other people's work and I can see it from the outside.
So I guess I keep looking for the fic where it wouldn't be so blindingly transparent, or something. It'd be nice if someone gave me a run for my money, no? (Ha... come to think of it... it's this sort of sense of emotional mystery which entrances me about Silvia's work, definitely... maybe Maya's Draco, too... though sometimes it's the certainty I adore, like with Aja, eheheh. Has to be the right kind, though.).
I resent seeing all these stories where the characters have a clear path that they follow, and clear lessons that they learn, and clear attachments that they make. Even if they're confused, eventually they figure things out and either "win" or "lose" in getting what they want; possibly, they settle for second best or whatever. Thing is, they come to a static sort of understanding, with a sense of hindsight. "Oh, so -that's- what I felt/feel. Ohhhh." And of course, this leaves the reader (me included) rather satisfied with the blatant fantasy.
Funny, because I love stories where two people always have a link, a bond, that survives pretty much anything. It's that fantasy of certainty, of there being something to trust, to hope for, something that wouldn't fade or tarnish or be diminished by anything. I know exactly what it's like.
All sorts of trials may occur, and these two people never waver. I love that, but that's -rare- and precious because it's -in contrast- to a world where everything is always up for grabs. And people's relationships change, anyway. Even if they're constantly -together-, they're not going to remain the same people over time. Their needs will change. Their perceptions of each other will change. If they are static, they might as well be dead, ideals of faithfulness or not.
All of this is so general. You'd never guess this is all because I'm reading threesome fics against my will, pretty much, would you.
*sigh*
