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reenkaOne thing that really kind of bothers me is the idea that being in love makes you a kinder, gentler, sweeter person. Granted, love is a virtue, but as far as I can see, it doesn't make most people any more virtuous. There's a difference, it seems, between feeling love and being loving.
Perhaps one could say that it makes you more -yourself- than you'd been before. And one could definitely say it makes you -happier- than you'd been before (as well as sadder, madder, etc etc). And happiness does tend to dull the edges of one's bad moods, of course, and allow one to... mellow. The one thing that it generally doesn't do is suddenly make you kinder or more understanding, though, does it?
Of course, this relates to a lot of the fictional relationships I like. Generally, there's the 'bad boy' or the tough nut, so to speak. The one with the uglier baggage and the darker temper. One of the things that pisses me off about some writers' idea of romance is how inevitably, the 'tough nut' melts into peanut butter as soon as all the misunderstandings are cleared up and everyone's -really really- sure they love each other. Not just "maybe" or "for now"-- but as soon as everyone's feeling secure, voila! No more angst means no more ugly, apparently.
Isn't that just annoying? Just how naive is the reader supposed to be, here? What's up with this whole "I've always loved you" bullshit, anyway? Yeah, I loved you and I treated you like crap because I was insecure. That's so romantic.
It bugs me. It really bugs me. Usually, this is a perfectly good writer, too. It's just that they seem to have no clue as to how the not-so-nice segment of the population really works. And well... most people aren't all that nice, even-- especially-- to their loved ones. Love doesn't automatically make them unselfish, anyway, as far as I can tell. Love can certainly bring out certain underutilized traits, of course, but... it's not like it's a magic bullet. Wah.
"I've always loved you" is just... one of the worst literary devices-- ever. Ever. Right up there with "I'm secretly an angel-slash-FBI-agent" and "my stepmom is an alien". Yep.
Perhaps one could say that it makes you more -yourself- than you'd been before. And one could definitely say it makes you -happier- than you'd been before (as well as sadder, madder, etc etc). And happiness does tend to dull the edges of one's bad moods, of course, and allow one to... mellow. The one thing that it generally doesn't do is suddenly make you kinder or more understanding, though, does it?
Of course, this relates to a lot of the fictional relationships I like. Generally, there's the 'bad boy' or the tough nut, so to speak. The one with the uglier baggage and the darker temper. One of the things that pisses me off about some writers' idea of romance is how inevitably, the 'tough nut' melts into peanut butter as soon as all the misunderstandings are cleared up and everyone's -really really- sure they love each other. Not just "maybe" or "for now"-- but as soon as everyone's feeling secure, voila! No more angst means no more ugly, apparently.
Isn't that just annoying? Just how naive is the reader supposed to be, here? What's up with this whole "I've always loved you" bullshit, anyway? Yeah, I loved you and I treated you like crap because I was insecure. That's so romantic.
It bugs me. It really bugs me. Usually, this is a perfectly good writer, too. It's just that they seem to have no clue as to how the not-so-nice segment of the population really works. And well... most people aren't all that nice, even-- especially-- to their loved ones. Love doesn't automatically make them unselfish, anyway, as far as I can tell. Love can certainly bring out certain underutilized traits, of course, but... it's not like it's a magic bullet. Wah.
"I've always loved you" is just... one of the worst literary devices-- ever. Ever. Right up there with "I'm secretly an angel-slash-FBI-agent" and "my stepmom is an alien". Yep.
