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reenkathe thing that is really obvious-- and i mean, it is just so obvious it's painful-- is that oh my -gahd-, i'm -easy-. and no i don't mean ...well... -that- way. just. gaaahhh why does every little bit of angst make me wibble, whywhywhywhyyyyyyyyyy. i think i'm that stereotypical chick who you'd think cries at sappy movies and needs a hankie if you even tell her about casablanca or whatever.
but no, i'm not. that's why it freaks me out so, when it does happen. maybe i'm just particularly sensitized with some things (*coughpairingscough*). i mean, i sit there and i think, i am being so stupid, it's all so transparent and manipulative (really), but still, i wail and wail and wail (though i don't cry) because it's all so... emotional. wah.
i just needed to complain about myself. heh. in real life, sometimes i'd get all emotional about stupid things like flowers and babies or whatever, and also sad things and stuff, but it's not like i'm a complete soppy mess or anything. but it's so easy to lose all respect for yourself this way. here you are, and you -know- this isn't "good fiction", and you're -still-, like, wah, i am dying over here!!!!
i mean, it's okay if you think it's "really good" because at least then it's like the story's fault you're a mess and not your own, but if all it takes is a little push-- then it's just that you're easily suggestible. here is this cliche, melodramatic scene with tears and scissors(!!!) and declarations of love, and obviously i should be scoffing and going, "ahahahah! that is so amusing!", but i'm not. the tiniest bit of angst and i'm so easily hooked (with characters i care about). siiiigh. at least my judgment isn't really impaired, and i can tell it's crappy. yeay, etc.
still, it's interesting to wonder whether this subjective emotional value can also equally recommend a story. this way, you can say soap operas (which make people bawl) have an equivalency to say, "romeo and juliet" (which makes people bawl). in a way. wah. am over-intellectual basketcase.
but no, i'm not. that's why it freaks me out so, when it does happen. maybe i'm just particularly sensitized with some things (*coughpairingscough*). i mean, i sit there and i think, i am being so stupid, it's all so transparent and manipulative (really), but still, i wail and wail and wail (though i don't cry) because it's all so... emotional. wah.
i just needed to complain about myself. heh. in real life, sometimes i'd get all emotional about stupid things like flowers and babies or whatever, and also sad things and stuff, but it's not like i'm a complete soppy mess or anything. but it's so easy to lose all respect for yourself this way. here you are, and you -know- this isn't "good fiction", and you're -still-, like, wah, i am dying over here!!!!
i mean, it's okay if you think it's "really good" because at least then it's like the story's fault you're a mess and not your own, but if all it takes is a little push-- then it's just that you're easily suggestible. here is this cliche, melodramatic scene with tears and scissors(!!!) and declarations of love, and obviously i should be scoffing and going, "ahahahah! that is so amusing!", but i'm not. the tiniest bit of angst and i'm so easily hooked (with characters i care about). siiiigh. at least my judgment isn't really impaired, and i can tell it's crappy. yeay, etc.
still, it's interesting to wonder whether this subjective emotional value can also equally recommend a story. this way, you can say soap operas (which make people bawl) have an equivalency to say, "romeo and juliet" (which makes people bawl). in a way. wah. am over-intellectual basketcase.
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Date: 2003-04-18 09:33 am (UTC)i cried yesterday while watching 'galaxy quest'. i cried this winter while watching 'muppets take manhattan'. 'muppets take manhattan', do you understand? i am nearly twenty years old and am so pathetic as to cry about that. and it's true, i also cry at easily manipulative, not-altogether-well-done things; the film evilyn with pierce brosnan had me sobbing all the way through even though i hated it, even though i thought it was trite ridiculous cliched. you know?
but, see, what gets to me is the emotions behind what is happening. i get lost in movies books teevee whatever, i believe that these people are real during the time. so when badness happens i go 'oh, that must make them feel -' whatever it would make them feel and i can feel that pain for them, i can feel it like it's happening to me and it destroys me totally. completely. it's terrible.
do you understand? maybe you are like that too? lost in these worlds.
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Date: 2003-04-18 12:48 pm (UTC)in that particular case, i was just feeling the horribly melodramatic harry/draco lurve. sometimes it hits me like that. i'm really -really- in love with them so it's easy to get to me, i guess, though if something is truly badly written and not just melodramatic crap, forget it -.- hee.
i mean, i ain't melting if it's, "and then drako touched hawwy's cheek and CRIED BIG SALTY TEARS OF UNHAPPINESS". hee ^^; i know, i know. i'm so picky and yet i think i'm too easy. i think ideally my emotions would agree with my aesthetics, but they don't, always, which is weird. thankfully, most movies don't affect me that much unless i REALLY love them. which is why it's freaky to me to be all "WAIL" at a stupid hair-cutting scene. like, "NO, DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR AND LEAVE ME, NOooooo!!" ahahahah. ok, i'm over it :D
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Date: 2003-04-19 07:20 am (UTC)*sigh*
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Date: 2003-04-19 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-19 09:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-21 10:27 am (UTC)*laughs* Wow, I really like that. Hee. I will, do.