![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkasharing porn is a weird thing, isn't it? the sort of frank discussion of it, forming friendships that include squeeing over it, getting to know people who write it -because- they write it.... i know people say that writing slash isn't exactly political, and it isn't, really. but isn't there something about all this overload of writing and desire and fantasy and the way it seems to range from one's highest to one's basest impulses, all combined and interwoven?
i suppose movies and books are pretty "loose" these days, and maybe it's just that the united states is sort of schizoid culturally in being both puritan and extremely decadent. i still feel this is a bit on the weird side, though. usually, discussion of porn/sexual fantasy comes in two flavors, historically, i think-- clinical psychoanalysis and discussion of history and culture, and just cybersex and dirty talk and bad jokes-- i suppose there's a range there between kind of subdued flirting and straight out attempts to seduce.
and yet i'm pretty sure (most) times that fannish talk turns to porny subjects and sex and preferences and everything squee-inducing and "hot", we're not really trying to flirt (er... directly?), and we're not being all academic, either, because it gets pretty personal a lot of the time. simply by -writing- porn that people -read-, i feel i'm doing something strange and exhibitionist and "liberated". i'm curious as to how other people (who write or talk about it) feel about it. i personally am just sort of...okay with talking/saying anything to anyone, to start with. maybe it's because i usually don't find people i know see me "that way" (and vice versa), so it's all kind of... separate from my self even if i refer to myself.
but really now. saying, "you write such great porn", or "that story was/is so hot", or even, write porn for me! ...there's just something... hard to pin down, but -different- about that, isn't there? something that doesn't really happen in quite such a safe and positive way outside of fandom. i mean, honestly, if you wanted to, you could see slash writers as being perverted freaks, i suppose, because it has to do with s-e-x and what a group of people finds sexy, which is embarrassing and not culturally "ok" in most cases. bonding over sex in a non-sexual way... or even in a sexual way, depending (ie, just how unusual your kink is).
but the weird thing is, it -doesn't- really have to do with sex. it's all oblique and weird and -female-, somehow. like romance novels. because there's this aura of romance and a more emotional approach than with male-centric porn, it sort of slips through the cracks and isn't even censored in any way (well, i suppose you can't say cock or whatever in romance novels, and it's all soft-core, but anyway).
even all the squeeing over actors and such-- i mean, how much of a stretch is it, saying such-and-such 14-year-old actor is HOT and saying that playmate of the month makes you come in your pants?
and all of this is so... vanilla, in a way, so well covered-over by artfulness and the more general interests of writing and reading and the particular book or movie series. there's no barrier, no boundary, really, between the sexual and non-sexual aspect of fandom, and it all kind of flows over. i find that fascinating, because i'm pretty sure that it's not really that we're -all- sexually liberated uber-people of tomorrow. i'm guessing.
sometimes i get all self-aware with this and it's just a bit embarrassing. is that just me? i mean, it's like-- i'm not -really- in fandom for the porn, i'm in it for the romance and the fantasy-- most precisely, for the romance fantasy. i'm pretty sure if one really wanted porn, one would find it outside of fandom, wouldn't one? unless one's mind gets really skewed and reality-based things just don't seem very hot anymore.
it just seems that writing something hot and heavy to be read by an anonymous audience is one thing. having written something that your friends or people you know and like find "hot", that turned them on (one assumes), is quite another thing, isn't it?
i mean, on the one hand, i'm proud. i do still want that "i write gay male porn" tshirt, and-- i can only imagine what people would think if i wore it. why am i even proud?? would i be proud if i wrote het porn?? no. is it just that we feel slash is Bigger, Better, Hotter?
a part of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
franzeska's post yesterday was saying that slash is great because it allows (straight) women to share their fantasies in a purer, unprecedented way. ahem. while i can see that, it sort of makes me meep. me? sharing fantasies?? eep!
by now it should be obvious that i don't -have- a point, ahahaha. except, i find the whole phenomenon curious and wonder if i'm the only one who sometimes feels a little... ahem. exposed? embarrassed? like i'm stuck in a weird alternate dimension?? yah. not in a bad way. but-- i mean. seriously now. all those people i have affection for, think are great writers, wonderful people, i'd want to meet and bring home to meet my mother, what have you-- well, most of them write gay male porn. what to make of that?? *laughs* i mean, okay, nevermind the gay male part, any porn. and okay, i'm not saying all slash is porn, obviously. but almost all slash writers -discuss- it, bond over it, and like it to some degree. ahem.
*coughs* well, back to reading my gay male highlander porn. *laughs and laughs*
~~
and oh. ever since durendal wrote `tickle me pink', i've had a huge weakness for ferret jokes and h/d sex. it is never going away. i am sullied forever and ever. sadly, i thought i'd have to suffer eternities with no more ferret lovin', butserpentigena rescued me from said eternities by writing `a little ferret lovin'', ahahahahah. oh, i adore it. ahahahahah. yes, i have got to get help, but this -may- (or may not) be less "twisted" than my fondness for squid!draco, ahahaha. ferret!draco is much more... er... wholesome, right? right? ahahahahahah. i'm sorry, can't type, twitching too much :D
EDIT -ali_wildgoose's `duel' is the only armchair challenge fic i've let myself read yet (must... finish... own.... fic... gah...!). but. um. well, i can't help it, the waiting, that -waiting- for more `sins of the father'. gah. anyway. so good. yes. of course.
i suppose movies and books are pretty "loose" these days, and maybe it's just that the united states is sort of schizoid culturally in being both puritan and extremely decadent. i still feel this is a bit on the weird side, though. usually, discussion of porn/sexual fantasy comes in two flavors, historically, i think-- clinical psychoanalysis and discussion of history and culture, and just cybersex and dirty talk and bad jokes-- i suppose there's a range there between kind of subdued flirting and straight out attempts to seduce.
and yet i'm pretty sure (most) times that fannish talk turns to porny subjects and sex and preferences and everything squee-inducing and "hot", we're not really trying to flirt (er... directly?), and we're not being all academic, either, because it gets pretty personal a lot of the time. simply by -writing- porn that people -read-, i feel i'm doing something strange and exhibitionist and "liberated". i'm curious as to how other people (who write or talk about it) feel about it. i personally am just sort of...okay with talking/saying anything to anyone, to start with. maybe it's because i usually don't find people i know see me "that way" (and vice versa), so it's all kind of... separate from my self even if i refer to myself.
but really now. saying, "you write such great porn", or "that story was/is so hot", or even, write porn for me! ...there's just something... hard to pin down, but -different- about that, isn't there? something that doesn't really happen in quite such a safe and positive way outside of fandom. i mean, honestly, if you wanted to, you could see slash writers as being perverted freaks, i suppose, because it has to do with s-e-x and what a group of people finds sexy, which is embarrassing and not culturally "ok" in most cases. bonding over sex in a non-sexual way... or even in a sexual way, depending (ie, just how unusual your kink is).
but the weird thing is, it -doesn't- really have to do with sex. it's all oblique and weird and -female-, somehow. like romance novels. because there's this aura of romance and a more emotional approach than with male-centric porn, it sort of slips through the cracks and isn't even censored in any way (well, i suppose you can't say cock or whatever in romance novels, and it's all soft-core, but anyway).
even all the squeeing over actors and such-- i mean, how much of a stretch is it, saying such-and-such 14-year-old actor is HOT and saying that playmate of the month makes you come in your pants?
and all of this is so... vanilla, in a way, so well covered-over by artfulness and the more general interests of writing and reading and the particular book or movie series. there's no barrier, no boundary, really, between the sexual and non-sexual aspect of fandom, and it all kind of flows over. i find that fascinating, because i'm pretty sure that it's not really that we're -all- sexually liberated uber-people of tomorrow. i'm guessing.
sometimes i get all self-aware with this and it's just a bit embarrassing. is that just me? i mean, it's like-- i'm not -really- in fandom for the porn, i'm in it for the romance and the fantasy-- most precisely, for the romance fantasy. i'm pretty sure if one really wanted porn, one would find it outside of fandom, wouldn't one? unless one's mind gets really skewed and reality-based things just don't seem very hot anymore.
it just seems that writing something hot and heavy to be read by an anonymous audience is one thing. having written something that your friends or people you know and like find "hot", that turned them on (one assumes), is quite another thing, isn't it?
i mean, on the one hand, i'm proud. i do still want that "i write gay male porn" tshirt, and-- i can only imagine what people would think if i wore it. why am i even proud?? would i be proud if i wrote het porn?? no. is it just that we feel slash is Bigger, Better, Hotter?
a part of
franzeska's post yesterday was saying that slash is great because it allows (straight) women to share their fantasies in a purer, unprecedented way. ahem. while i can see that, it sort of makes me meep. me? sharing fantasies?? eep!by now it should be obvious that i don't -have- a point, ahahaha. except, i find the whole phenomenon curious and wonder if i'm the only one who sometimes feels a little... ahem. exposed? embarrassed? like i'm stuck in a weird alternate dimension?? yah. not in a bad way. but-- i mean. seriously now. all those people i have affection for, think are great writers, wonderful people, i'd want to meet and bring home to meet my mother, what have you-- well, most of them write gay male porn. what to make of that?? *laughs* i mean, okay, nevermind the gay male part, any porn. and okay, i'm not saying all slash is porn, obviously. but almost all slash writers -discuss- it, bond over it, and like it to some degree. ahem.
*coughs* well, back to reading my gay male highlander porn. *laughs and laughs*
~~
and oh. ever since durendal wrote `tickle me pink', i've had a huge weakness for ferret jokes and h/d sex. it is never going away. i am sullied forever and ever. sadly, i thought i'd have to suffer eternities with no more ferret lovin', but
serpentigena rescued me from said eternities by writing `a little ferret lovin'', ahahahahah. oh, i adore it. ahahahahah. yes, i have got to get help, but this -may- (or may not) be less "twisted" than my fondness for squid!draco, ahahaha. ferret!draco is much more... er... wholesome, right? right? ahahahahahah. i'm sorry, can't type, twitching too much :DEDIT -
ali_wildgoose's `duel' is the only armchair challenge fic i've let myself read yet (must... finish... own.... fic... gah...!). but. um. well, i can't help it, the waiting, that -waiting- for more `sins of the father'. gah. anyway. so good. yes. of course.
